Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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