Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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