Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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