She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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