Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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