I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
