Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
