You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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