"it" just moved
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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