D3 body, D1 cock
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
