if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
