I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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