So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
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i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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