you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
