yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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