I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Someone shattered a urinal.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I stole a fireplace last night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
