i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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