ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize