Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
