bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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