So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
