Just took my morning after pill in the library
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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