My room smells like vodka and shame
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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