she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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