I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
