it hurts more in the daytime
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize