I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
