U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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