I can't watch pbs sober anymore
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
