Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
