where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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