I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
