have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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