3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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