I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
