just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
