All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
