eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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