I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
