Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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