Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
