New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
