I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Someone signed my nipple.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
