We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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