the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
being pregnant is like rehab
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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