ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
