I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I DEMAND FORESKIN
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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