Who did Billy Mays play for?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
