so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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