I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
