Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
