Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
