Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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