If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
