i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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