So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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