I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
