I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
