lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
