When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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