Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
