I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
