VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
