So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
