well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think people are normalizing furries
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