the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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